The Beat Goes On

Another rock has rolled into my path this week. My supervisor called me in on Friday to say that she really needed my help to figure out what jobs I could do next year so she could justify keeping me on at 40%. And the other 60%? Oh, that. Back to the classroom, she guesses. It was one of those conversations where you are a step behind the whole time. We were about 10 minutes into it before I realized that she was only talking about 40% of my time. The other 60% cut in my job was just a given that she had been living with for some time, apparently. Not important enough to mention it to me succinctly. So, she offered to be available over the weekend if I wanted to talk about it. What is to talk about, really? The issue is the 100%, not all the little chunks of it. So, if no other position that I can apply for becomes open, I will be back in the classroom full time next year.  Reduction Physics definitely comes into play in this situation. It probably represents not only a substantial cut in pay, but two months with no paycheck at all, due to differences in contract schedules. So I must strive to reduce my debt and save for a dry spell at the same time.

I think the irony of it is that there is a substantial pot of Title III money, federal money which is not being cut, in the district coffers. This is money for improving learning conditions for English learners. We have a number of schools in Program Improvement, all of which have a significant population of English learners. I have about 15 years of experience working successfully with this population, a Masters Degree about the subject and a Bilingual/Cross-cultural teaching credential (BCLAD). I love coaching and mentoring teachers. I write and publish articles about it and am often asked to speak about the topic in places outside our area. I could serve the school district well in a role that focused on English learners. However, the person who carries the title of EL Coordinator is a clerical person, who is quite competent in the field of testing, but has never stood in front of a classroom.

I wonder at the fact that carving out a position in which I could be of benefit to the school district with English learners has not occurred to anyone. Or perhaps it has and it was rejected. It is this sort of disconnect that sets my head spinning. Strangely enough, although a little discombobulated by this newest change, I don’t feel panic. I know that however things turn out I will be fine. Even though I can’t necessarily see it, there is order in the Universe.  And the beat goes on!

Feeling different

It’s funny, it really takes very little change to notice the difference. I have lost six pounds, and I don’t think I look different at all, but I feel different. That motivates me to do more, up my commitment to myself and my change process. Drink more water, take a walk every day, be wise about how I spend my money.

I haven’t replaced the things that were stolen from my home, so I still don’t have internet access. I go to cafes or stay late at work, but then can’t really remember what I did online for so long each day. Now I read or knit or watch a movie. I no longer feel the urge to go online the minute I wake up in the morning. I no longer play Mah-jong online or on my computer. The idea of doing so is boring, actually. How is it that I was addicted to it for so long?

Today I went through some old files, intending to throw things away, and found a compendium of my personal history. There was the travel diary my family (mostly me) made in 1961, the year we drove to Texas. The picture I drew when I was 8, of a goat behind a bush because I couldn’t figure out how to draw a whole goat, as assigned. There is the newpaper article and photo of me on the day Rev. Hensley ordained 5000 people into the Universal Life Church. There are papers and papers I wrote in college, when I took personal writing classes. They tell my history, how I felt and thought about the things that were happening to me at the time. Then there are the ones I wrote and had published, the teaching articles. I’ve been on writing hiatus for a while, I think. What’s next? Dive back into the novel I began during NaNoWriMo in November? I haven’t even reread it yet. I’m almost ready to do so, but I’m kind of afraid to read it, much less to take on revising and finishing it. However! I’m feeling different, so I guess maybe anything could happen. !Andele!