Summer Reading

A few days ago I received a message about a book I could review for a listserv that I moderate. When I went to Amazon to order it, I couldn’t resist ordering a couple of other things on my list – free shipping, you know. Yesterday they arrived, four new books. Whoa! I hadn’t bought any books for a while. I did, however have an overdue library book, so I thought I should go and renew it. Between the library door and the checkout/renewal desk, I happened on five other books that I needed to check out. Then on the way home, a magazine assaulted me at Safeway, and I brought it home as well. I’ve been wanting to join a new bookclub about women in the Middle East, so I stopped and bought next week’s book, as well. Then I went home. I brought them all into the house, delighted with myself. I put them all on the table and reveled in the stack. After I ate dinner, I took them with me to the sofa while I watched TV. Every so often I’d just pick one or two up and leaf through it, then put it back for a few minutes. I was wallowing in those books. It occurred to me that I could look at this as my summer reading, even though the majority of it needs to be read and returned within three weeks. But I’m fast, right? I am. So it’s my early summer reading. Finally, I realized that for me reading fits the definition of clutter that I mentioned a couple of posts ago. (Clutter being anything that keeps you from connecting.) And that I’ve just stocked up on it. Hm. I still plan to read it all. Then I’ll declutter. Then I’ll connect.

So, want to know what I’ll be reading? Here goes:

Teaching Writing With Latino/a Students: Lessons learned at Hispanic-serving Institutions. This is the one I’m reviewing for the listserv.

The Latehomecomer, a Hmong Family Memoir, by Kao Kalia Yang. This one is brand new, and I’m excited about reading it. I’ve worked with Hmong students for a long time, and have visited Laos so I avidly read about all this.

Iran Awakening: One Woman’s Journey to Reclaim her LIfe and Country, by Shirin Ebadi. This is for the Middle East Bookclub. I love reading about the Middle East.

Negocios, por Junot DIaz. This is my libro en Español for this summer.

Mudbound, by Hilary Jordan. I heard a review of this one on NPR and have been wanting to read it. I might choose it for my other bookclub. (But I might choose Water for Elephants.)

Secrets & Mysteries, by Denise Linn. This is a book for spiritual well-being.  Lord knows I need centering assistance.

The Aerialist by RIchart Schmitt. Circus novel. It will go fast.

Shoe Addicts, Anonymous by Beth Harbison. This one is what I call a “TV Novel.” Like you start it on Sunday afternoon and finish the next day. You maybe don’t read it in front of people cause it seems so fluffy. The kind that I usually listen to in the car.  Delicious!

The Complete Vegan Cookbook. Okay, I’ll browse this one. Maybe try a few recipes. Or not.

Looking Good: A Comprehensive Guide to Wardrobe Planning, Color and Personal Style Development. I have good color sense, but no style sense to speak of. I keep wanting to present myself better and feel like I never quite make it. So.

Oprah Magazine, June 2008. Need I say more??

Oh yeah, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.  A weighty tome I predict.  But probably just what I need right now.

So there it is, my bounty. Is there that much room in my brain? I guess so. For now.

Green drinks and balance…

Are you sick of this topic yet? It’s like my new religion. So, here’s what has happened. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the supposed bloating effects of mixing fruits and vegetables. Feeling quite paunchy in the middle, I decided to stop the green drinks and see if that went away. The results are in, and I have begun my green drinks again. A couple of days ago I noticed that my whole routine had sort of fallen apart. I couldn’t figure out what to eat and when, so I was just eating anything that came along. I quit paying attention to my money plan and quit exercising. I wasn’t even drinking water. And I was no less bloated than before! Without my realizing it, the daily routine of making a green drink in the morning and eating a bowl of plain yogurt an hour or so later had become very important to my balance. It kind of created a frame for my day. I don’t really understand it completely, but ni modo. I’m drinking them again and that’s that.

I forget how delicate a balance we achieve in our lives. A daily routine can sometimes be the critical piece that keeps us on our feet. Literally.

Keeping it Simple

Today someone asked me: What is one thing you could start doing today that would most improve the quality of your life? My answer was to simplify, to get rid of clutter on all levels. By clutter, I don’t mean the junk that piles up in the closets and corners. I mean everything that gets in the way of focus and clarity. All the things that take me off center. The things that keep me fuzzy, unable to keep track of my priorities. The things that let me be so unfocused that I fall down.

Recently I tuned in to a phone conference call with Jennifer Louden and Vickie White (See my blogroll at right: Life Design Strategies) and Vickie said something that keeps echoing in my mind. She said, “Your clutter holds your dreams.” Anything that keeps you from connecting is clutter, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Over-busyness, emotional attachments we hold on to for too long, a chaotic home, even fat. She defines clutter as anything that is unfinished, unused, unresolved, tolerated or disorganized. When we clear our clutter we permit our creativity to burst out.

I realize that for me, that means staying home, not traveling right now. Making my home my centered place, the place where I can breathe clearly and feel at peace. In two weeks I have to travel across the country for a weekend. (Talk about a carbon footprint!!) Between now and then, I am going to focus on keeping things simple and focused. Then look forward to a summer of fine tuning that focus, clearing my own clutter.

Un poema

Yo soy

Soy del sol y de la sombra
Soy de la valle y del cañon
Soy del cielo y de la tierra
De las piedras y del mar.

Soy de la risa y del llanto
De hablar y de callar
Soy de arriba y de abajo
Soy del exito y de fallar.

Soy del dolor de mi querido padre
del corazón de mi cariñosa mama.
Soy de los sueños de mis hijos
Y de los años de soledad.

Soy del amor y la indiferencia,
del recordar y olvidar
soy de cercas y de lejos
de soñar y despertar.

Soy todas y no soy nadie
y nunca me pueden conocer.

escrito por Lynn Jacobs

Praying

The last time I went to Mexico, I bought a rosary in a little shop on the corner across from the Basilica de Nuestra Señora de la Salúd, in Patzcuaro, Michoacan. I am not Catholic, but for some reason, the idea of owning prayer beads has always appealed to me. I think it is the idea of organizing one’s prayers in this metered way that called my attention. The knowing when one is done. When I bought my rosary I was traveling with my mother, who has always considered a mixed marriage to be one between a Catholic and a Protestant. I wasn’t sure how to explain this purchase, sure it would seem particularly Catholic to her (not that she would care at this point in her life – both my sister and I married Catholics and she had no problem with either marriage, although in retrospect perhaps she should have protested just a little), so I didn’t. I just stopped in and bought it and slipped it my bag. I don’t think she even noticed, to tell the truth.

When I got home from Mexico, I hung the rosary over a lampshade next to my bed. One night, about 3:00 A.M., when sleep was evading me, I decided to pray. As I reached for the rosary I was stunned to notice it glowing in the dark. Each little brownish bead has a stripe of a creamy white around it, and it is this white part that glows. Since childhood I have loved all things luminous, so the glow definitely adds a little bit of magic to an already intriguing artifact.

A rosary is divided in groupings of beads. Each group has ten beads, and is divided by a separator bead. As I began to pray, I decided that I would alternate prayers of thanks with prayers in which I asked for something. It seemed rude to just ask for things without ever saying thank you for what I already have, so each group would be organized in an alternating type of prayer, but the divider beads would be dedicated to gratitude, thus ensuring more thanking than asking. I prayed thanks first, thinking of anything I could to be thankful for– it wasn’t too hard to come up with nine things at a time and when I ran out of ideas I just repeated myself. Next, I said one big general thank you on the separator bead, then went on to a group of prayers in which I asked for outcomes. I asked that I be helped to lose weight, that one of my students who had a mysterious illness would regain her health and that I wouldn’t run out of money before the end of the month again. I prayed for my children’s health and prosperity, world peace and then came around to the weight loss prayer again. By the time I got to the end of the rosary, I was calm, relaxed and ready to sleep.

I have found unexpected solace in those deep night prayers. Since that night, I have often repeated this pattern of prayer, using the rosary as an organizer. Now all I have to do is hold it in my hand and I fall asleep within minutes, feeling safe and relaxed. It is as though just touching the beads activates the prayer, and I no longer have to say anything at all.

Quote for the day

Love – If you have it, you don’t need to have anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter what else you have.

~ Sir James M. Barrie

The generation of comments

I have been blogging for a few months this year, and did so for a while last year. I still consider myself a rookie blogger, but I’m getting into it. A sort of difficult thing for me is determining what a blog is about for myself. My version, that is. I started this one to talk about what the subtitle says: losing weight, debt and uncertainty. A broad scope, sort of. These are things that I focus on a lot in my life, and I thought maybe if I talk about them publicly it will not only strengthen my own resolve with regard to changes I want to make, I might even generate a conversation which will be interesting to more than just me. So at first I wrote about some stuff – weight and credit card debt. I bravely told a couple of friends about my blog, and waited to see if they would acknowledge reading it. Each of them did respond once, but not again. So was it boring and they couldn’t bear to read it again? Could be. Was it too personal, too much like a journal and they felt like comments would be an imposition? Like they were lurking where they weren’t invited? But I’d invited them! After a few months I am getting more bold. An online journal just isn’t that much fun. I want a conversation, some feedback. Most of the blogs I read are about technology. How to do new Web 2.0 stuff. I’m interested in that, but does anyone just write about things like being a person in the world? Does that make it a journal and not for commenting on? I see in my blog stats that a few people read this blog occasionally – my big day so far was 6 reads, I think. But still no comments. Today I added it to the blogroll of my other site, the one that gets read more often, and occasionally commented on (okay, only by one valient person – thanks Bonnie), so maybe someone there will notice it. And what I have to say will resonate with them (you) enough that they will leave me a comment.

If you are reading this (and I don’t know who you are!) I would appreciate it if you would talk to me a little about the commenting issue. What sorts of blogs do you comment on, and why not this one? I do love to see that you have been here. I’ll be patient, but please, feel free to talk to me! Thanks and have a good day.