Each year I go over my book list and pick my 12 most favorite books, one for each month. My hits of the year, so to speak. This week I’ve been struggling with the idea of making New Years Resolutions. This whole idea is so fake, and so unkeepable, (for me at least) yet every year at about this time I become obsessed with changing. I will become smarter, skinnier, stronger, richer and prettier. Oh, and more spiritual. And definitely skinnier. And I’ll do all this because I will start new on the day after tomorrow. If only I can get really clear about what exactly it is I am going to change, specifically. I have to be specific because I pretty much want to change everything about me and how I approach my life, and even I know that’s not going to happen. So I think and plan and try to winnow down the possibilities into something possibly doable.
This year in the interest of the annual life change project, I’m thinking I should do a year in review, like I do with my book list. If I list the hits and misses, the wins and losses maybe I’ll see where I might choose to focus my attention this new year. (Notice I’m not using the “R” word. No. I’m saying “focus” instead. I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking and talking about this today (thanks for your patience, Alicia) and have actually come up with a great plan for my focus, and it’s not what I expected to come up with. But I’ll get to that once I’ve reviewed my year. So here goes:
Wait. I was going to review the year by month, but that got arduous by January. I’m not going there. Let’s try this:
The hard stuff:
Without going into a lot of unnecessary detail, I’ll say that this year had some really hard parts. From family illness to disillusionment with regard to my working situation to the apparent loss of a good friend, it sometimes was pretty rocky. I kind of went numb in some ways, I think. I spent a lot of time on Farmville, where I could control what happened by making good (predictable) decisions.
The cool stuff:
Hm…I began to turn my attention from my job to my life outside my job this year. I took a lot of photos (and bought new camera), and had some good times with a new group of friends. I’m working next door to my daughter this year which is really fun, and serves to lighten things at work for me. And she mostly makes me go home on time.
A final thought for the year: Just because you are good at doing something, or have the skill to do something doesn’t mean that doing it is the best thing for your spirit. Just cause you can do something, doesn’t mean that you should want to BE that thing. Sometimes it is time to move on and learn to be what makes you happy. Focus on nourishing your spirit, doing what fills you up with joy. That’s where I’m headed. Bring on 2011!