Sick again ~ What’s going on?

I am sick again, another cold has struck with a vengeance a couple of days ago.  This is about the fourth time since the school year began.  Over the winter break I was the sickest, with asthmatic bronchitis.  I am not usually a sickly person at all.  I usually fight things off easily, so this is a little disturbing.  I’m actually thinking about doing some sort of cleanse.  I’ve felt sluggish and kind of foggy for a while, and this just tops it off.  I wonder if anyone who reads this has any information about this sort of thing.

Some of the women in my book club are doing a 28 day cellular cleanse, a la Scott Ohlsgard (I think that is his name).  I’m not sure where to begin, so may order his book to check it out.  I’ve already looked for it at B&N and S&S, and will still check Lyon’s before I order it.  Another possibility is a book called Healing with Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford.  I guess since I have his huge book, I could start by reading that. (D’oh!)  Maybe I should do a cleanse and then follow his dietary advice.  I have to do some reading, it seems.

This cleansing idea seems like a commitment to discomfort (read giving up the food I love that is not so good for me), but what could be less comfortable than what I’m feeling now?  I think I really need a detox of my whole system.  I’m going to check it out and I’ll keep track of the process here.  I promise to leave out any really gory details!

Taking it all on

Today is a day of preparation.  Preparing for Melissa’s bachelorette party tonight: making pozole, buying prizes for a game, buying a pair of green underpants for my friend to give her in a game because my friend doesn’t have time to do so.  Preparing for Thanksgiving: making cranberry sauce, pumpkin pies and precooking the yams.  Also, picking up the turkey, buying shoes for the wedding on Saturday, preparing a basket of goodies for the wedding couple’s hotel suite on Saturday, going to visit the hotel suite this morning to see what we might do to prepare it for a luxurious night apart from its being itself (the Executive Suite at the Hotel Diamond is no sniffing matter!), making the concentration game for the bachelorette party in which the prizes are candy with names like Hot Tamales, Big Hunk, Nerds and Airheads and buying said candy.

Breathe.  Did I say making pozole?  Yeah.  Okay, did I say writing 30,000 words to a novel I’ve begun and want to finish by Sunday?  Oh, I forgot that.  Yet it runs around in my head nearly every minute.  I’m onto an idea that I like, but I’m too busy preparing to write.  And it will get worse before it gets better.  All must be purchased before Friday because I wouldn’t dare be in a store on Friday.  Black Friday.  All hell breaks loose in the shopping world Friday.  No stopping to pick up something I forgot Friday.  Today is the day.  That’s why I went to Safeway at 6:00 A.M. and at 7:00 A.M. am already cooking pozole.  It’s also why I went to Walgreen’s at 6:48 A.M. to buy the candy with goofy names for the game.  Because I couldn’t sleep and those stores were already open.

The thing is, no matter how much advance planning and shopping I do, it’s the last minute stuff that’ll sink me.  Send me out into the fray at the worst possible hour.  Happens every time.

Quote for the day: “You can’t get to wonderful without passing through alright.”

That quote by Bill Withers is my mantra for the weekend.  I am such an overachiever, I tend to lose interest if I’m only alright at something.  I have this need to be wonderful, and when I don’t achieve that right away I look elsewhere.  I need to take a deep breath and keep forging ahead with that which interests (or compels) me.  This would include:

1.  Writing a novel.  I still want to.  NaNoWriMo is coming up, and I’m beginning to prepare.  I WILL win this year.  Winning in this context has nothing to do with other people, it just means I will finish.  Meet my goal of 50,000 words in 30 days.  Ideas are spinning through my head every day!

2.  Back to Weight Watchers.  I’ve slacked on everything since school started.  Once I begin to slack I hit wonderful at it really quickly it seems.

3.  Ditto for the gym.

4.  Enhancing my home.  I want to begin to invite people over regularly, and I don’t do it because I can’t quite get on top of it anymore.  I wonder why this is…

5.Use my spiritual tools to balance my life.  This goes for the classroom as well.   Where is my head that I haven’t been using these?

6.  I want to learn to paint.  I wonder if I have to learn to draw first.

7.  I want and need to align my work that is outside teaching school.  I have some big presentations coming up and need to get ready.

And seven is enough for any list.  Let’s see how many of these I manage to address this week.  Just for starters.  You can’t get to wonderful without first passing through alright…you can’t get to wonderful without first passing through…you can’t get to wonderful without first…Yeah.

Morelianas

Morelianas are a type of tostada which were first made for me by a friend from Morelia, Michoacan.  Hence the name I suppose – I guess they are a regional dish.  Here is what is involved in making them, starting at the bottom:

Layer One: Crisp tostada.  Pericos or Guererros are good if you don’t want to make them yourself.

Layer Two:  A thin -very thin- coating of refried beans.  You can make these yourself (Boil them, smash them and simmer until a smooth paste), or buy a can of Rosaritas.  Think of buttering a piece of toast.  That thin.

Layer Three:  Cook some potatoes and carrots together and smash them up with a tiny bit of olive oil.  This does not mean puree – just fork smash.  Spread a thin layer of these next, on top of the beans.

Layer Four:  (Optional – good, but not needed) Shredded chicken.  Just cook it in a little seasoned water until it is tender enough to shred.

Layer Five:  Thinly slice tomatoes (and onions if you like) and marinate them for a while in lime juice.  Put a couple pieces of tomato on next.

Layer Six:  Chilled chile verde sauce.  I make this of lots of serrano and jalapeño chiles, tomatillos, garlic, onion and cilantro.  Roast all the vegetables first, boil them until soft, blend and add cilantro and sea salt at the end.  Chill this.  You can add cut up avocado if you wish.

Layer Seven:  Thinned sour cream, lightly.  The cream cuts the burn of the chile verde.

Layer Eight: Shredded lettuce.  Iceberg works best, or very thinly sliced white cabbage. If you didn’t put avocado in the chile verde (See layer seven) it is good must under the lettuce – thinly sliced.  Guacamole is not necessary – too many flavors make it a wasted effort!

Top: Crumbled queso fresco.

I know, it sounds like a lot of work, but the beauty of it is that you can make it all ahead of time and then just get it out to make the tostadas right before you are ready to eat.  It’s a hot weather dish, because it’s all cold when you eat it, and you make it in the morning when it is still cool.  The blend of textures and flavors is heavenly.  Enjoy your day!

Philly Cheese Steak? No, beets!

I find myself with a little extra time this morning in Philadelphia.  I got up early and went out to take some photos in the fresh early light.  Except it is already about 90 degrees, and the air feels like pudding, so I lasted for about ten minutes.  Wouldn’t you know I’d be here just in time for a record-breaking heat wave?  It is beautiful down here in the historical area, from what I’be seen.  Not only have I seen very little of it, because of my inability to tolerate the climate,  I have committed a gross fauxpas…I have declined to try a philly cheese steak.  The idea of grilled roast beef and onions topped off with Cheez Whiz on a big flaky roll just doesn’t go down.  All I can think of are salads vegetables and water.  Well, and ice cream.  Okay, strawberry-rhubarb cobbler or pie with ice cream.  And beets.  I have eaten beets with feta or goat cheese every day since I’ve been here, after not eating a single beet for at least five years.  What is with my sudden affection for this humble rubylike vegetable?  The other night at The White Dog restaurant (prime tourist spot – all organic local food, made on the premises) I had a beet salad that would have been satisfying as a dessert. (Except that I ate it first and had dessert afterwards.) Thick slices of tender beets layered with mild creamy goat cheese, with a few little greens on top and some spiced walnuts scattered around the base.  Topped off with a light viniagrette, it was dreamy.  All you beet haters read it and weep!  I will certainly be weeping when next I go to Weight Watchers and face the scale.  Oh well.

Green drinks, still

I am still making green drinks in the morning. I have been feeling so virtuous about them for some time now. Then last Saturday I met a friend for coffee and as I was extolling the virtues of the wondrous blender creations, he mentioned that he’d read that mixing fruit and vegetables causes gas. OMG!! I thought about how bloated I’ve been for about the same time as I’ve been making green drinks. But I BELIEVE IN THEM!! I judge myself favorably for drinking them every day. How can that be what is making me balloon up?

So I skipped Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Sure enough, I felt much slimmer, not big and bloated. Then this morning I coudn’t resist. I made one with frozen bananas, blackberries (frozen and fresh) and kale. Lots of nice fresh organic kale from the Farmer’s Market. it was truly AWFUL. Way too much kale, not cold enough, big seeds that felt like dirt…I could barely choke it down. So now I have to re-evaluate. I wonder if anyone has any info about this mixing fruit and veggies thing. Is it really a gas-promoting mixture? Do I really have to give up my beloved green drinks?! Anyone?

Addendum…

I just reread the last post, and realized that the weight gain was only a little about indulging whims.  Actually, the indulgence was only a subset of what really goes on.  It has something to do with a deep belief that food is the way to care for myself.  When I feel too lonely, or depressed or sad, or even angry food is always there.  It offers sustenance that extends beyond corporeal nourishment.  I’m not sure how to even talk about it here.  It can provide comfort where there is none, it fills spaces in time that could just as easily be filled by companionship and laughter, if there were some of that to be had.

Taking it even deeper, I could say that it is safer  to fill the gaps in the heart with food than with people because at least food is predictable.  At least I know the outcome of eating.  The taste, the feeling of fullness, even full to feeling sickness ~ all those things are constant.  Unless food is somehow tainted I can count on the outcome of eating it.  I have learned in this life that I can’t count on the outcome of relationships with people, be they friends or lovers.  At some point I seem to have made a choice between people and food, and food was safer.  Not more satisfying, really, not that at all.  Just safer.  Less possibility of betrayal, hurt, whatever is so threatening about trusting others.

So that is the habit that I truly need to change, and it truly is an inertia that goes way beyond that of eating a piece of steak or a cup of ice cream.  The other day someone asked me if I am “open” to meeting new people.  I answered that of course I am, I just don’t meet anyone to create new friendships with.  Then a few days later, I stopped into the health food store for lunch and as I was going out the door I looked up and saw that a man was looking at me.  I opened my eyes wider and smiled and said “Hello.”  I felt the difference in that moment of being open or not.  That man was not the issue – I wouldn’t recognize him if I saw him again – the issue was that I felt myself literally open my eyes and say hello to another person.  And I felt a shift.

So, we’ll see.