Why weight?

Yesterday I discovered that I have in fact lost 10.8 pounds, rather than the 8.6 I thought I had lost.  Now this is small beans, I guess, but to me it represents payoff.  I just think it is interesting to notice how intricately the mind and emotions are tied in to the whole weight thing.  When I think I am not losing, I want to give up.  I think I’m not capable of it.  I judge myself, feel inferior, and incompetent.  Then when I find that I have in fact lost weight, I walk a little taller, think my stomach sticks out a little less.   I feel like such a studette, sure that someone will be noticing my new lithe figure.  Actually I feel pretty out of control.  Like if I can’t control what I think or believe about myself, what about everything else I care about?  Do I have any control of my life at all?  Is this where I just “let go and let God?”  Coming back to Earth, the green drinks seem to give me energy and keep me full all morning.   That is my opinion after only three days.  Will they lead to good news on the scale?  Isn’t it enough to feel great?  No?  Okay then, keep up the blended spinach and we’ll see in a while.  Today I put pineapple in it because the strawberries were gone.  Still good.  This is like a great secret, that you can drink your greens and it is painless.  I like them cooked, but I want to get the most from them, so bring on the blender.   It only looks ugly, and a non-transparent glass pretty much takes care of that if it is a problem for you.  I don’t care as long as it tastes okay.   Enough.  We’ll see if I am still so enamored of them after a month. 

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2 thoughts on “Why weight?

  1. alchemivida says:

    *smiles* congrats on the 10.8 now gone from your life. guess i’m not the only one who struggles with wanting to give up. in fact, i gave up recently. you inspire me with the familiararity of your words. i wonder if it will be enough for me to hop back on the wagon?

  2. lynnjake says:

    I think hopping back on the wagon is the only choice. It’s either the sequins and gold paint in the women’s department or the wagon. I think it helps to try to be creative about it – change it up every so often. Make a green drink!

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