1. Losing weight: Well, I began Weight Watchers in January.. At first the loss was regular – a pound here and there, once in a while more, often less. I was fine with that and encouraged as the number of pounds lost mounted. Then I had some traveling, several bouts of travel. When I went to New York and Washington D.C. in early April I gained about 3 pounds, and have been flummoxed by it ever since. (I’m not sure flummoxed is the right word here – but I wanted to try using it.) I go up and I go down. I am not giving up, but am a little disappointed.
I know that I need to up the exercise. There is no doubt about that – so why don’t I do it? That is an ongoing question for me. I like to do it, I just don’t like to begin to do it. It’s like I need to be numbed into ignoring my resistance to beginning. I continue to strive for success in this area. I set a new goal yesterday, and will remain valient in my determination.
2. Debt: This week I am considering refinancing my house to pay off all my debts. House, car, credit cards, student loan, everything. Having it all under one payment, which is far less than the conglomeration of payments that I barely keep up with now. I wish I had someone to advise me about this idea besides the loan agents who want my business. I weight the pros (one payment, improved credit score, all the interest on those debts tax-deductible, peace of mind) against the cons (reduced equity in my house, although still over $150K, chance of racking up more debt and then just owing it all – this fear from my sister who did that, and , well, I can’t think of any more cons.) I think the pros outweigh the cons, but am I being unrealistic or naive? Do I overestimate my own powers of self control? Always.
3. Uncertainty: I’ve not lost my uncertainty, it seems. I working on that one. I’m making prayer beads and that is something I wanted to do for years, but didn’t act on, so there’s a good sign. Poco a poco…all things in their time, I guess. So far I’m resisting the urge to beat myself up about any of it. Persistence is the key, not perfection. But I wish someone’d tell me what to do!!
PostScript: The bird was photographed by my mom on her patio. Notice the bee hovering over the orange?