In which I say too much…

After much procrastination, I finally buy a Christmas tree, a stand and some lights.  But then there are not enough lights, so the nine-year-old investigator and I go out to buy more at Target.  Except Target is out of them, so after an emergency stop at Duke’s for tacos, we go to Rite-Aid to see if they have any lights.  Bonanza!  Not only do they have them, a 100 light string is only $1.50.  So we buy three, and a box of candy canes (and receive another free) and we head to Safeway for more caramel making materials.

As we back out of the parking space, she asks me, “What if someone didn’t believe in Santa Claus and they go out to get a job, and after they get it they find out it is a job as Santa Claus in a store?”  I reply, “Well, I guess it depends on how badly they need the job.  I mean, normally you wouldn’t want to do a job that conflicts with your values, but people do all sorts of things to survive.  I mean, you wouldn’t probably want to take a job as a stripper, but if your children were hungry, you might do something like that  even if you don’t really believe in it.”

STOP ACTION!!  “What is a stripper?” she asks innocently.  (Oh damn.  She doesn’t know about that.)   “Well, it is a person who takes off their clothes for money.  You have never heard of that, huh?” “No…(she is thinking of what to ask.)”  I scramble to change the subject.  “Well, let’s see, what do we need to buy at Safeway?  I think we need some corn syrup, and maybe…” “Wait!  I have a lot of questions about this…” “Yeah, I imagine you do.  Could I answer them when you’re about 14?” “No.  Who pays them?  Is it the person who owns the club?  How much money do they make?”  “Honey, don’t even go there.  You don’t get to be one.  Please forget I even mentioned it.  Don’t tell your mom…”  She laughs…”Well, Grandma, I don’t think you could get a job as a stripper.  I mean, who would pay an old lady to take off her clothes?!”

Thankfully, at this point the conversation veered off to what constitutes an “old lady.”  Until another question about strippers occurred to her.

I am in so much trouble!


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