I just finished a book by Adriana Trigiani called Milk Glass Moon. It is the sort of page turner of a book that reminds me of a Hallmark movie. Completely engaging, yet not especially edgy. I’m not going to shout to everyone that it is a must read, but I enjoyed it. The reason I mention it is that there was a concept in there that has kind of stuck in my head today. That is the idea of redreaming. This is presented as what you do when you reach your dreams. You don’t stop and think you have arrived, you must redream. Dream another one.
What I’ve been thinking about this is that sometimes when you don’t reach your dream you need to stop and redream as well. I tend to be a rather nonspecific dreamer. I have vague ideas of what I want to do or be, but seldom allow myself to be very specific about it. Then I am distracted pretty easily, leaving me with only a sort of wisp of a dream. Academically I know that if you wish to reach your dreams you must know what they are. The Law of Attraction works best if you can be specific about what you are attracting. Yet in practice, I seem to avoid actually forming a picture of my dream. Being specific about my dreams, forming an idea of exactly what I want is a lot of work. It means I have to make it happen. So I just go with the flow.
For the past couple of years this is what I did in my work. I went along with what was offered, and did as I was asked to the best of my ability. I knew what I was doing wasn’t really what I would ever dream of doing, but I felt that if I did these things they would eventually lead to something I could feel passionate about. It was kind of like paying my karmic dues, I guess. I left what I was passionate about to go do something I only felt okay about, believing that in time I would return to my passion but on a different level.
It didn’t work out like that. Without spending a lot of time on details, suffice to say that I returned to my original passion but different. Way different, and it has been extremely difficult. I’ve often been grouchy about it, have felt completely powerless and overly cynical. I quit doing almost everything that nurtures me. No exercise to speak of, not drinking enough water or eating right or even sleeping enough. Sounds self-destructive, doesn’t it? It has been, I now realize.
One thing that has brought me joy in the past months is photography. I’ve learned to see things in different ways, and have grown more and more confident about myself in this realm. I’m no competition for Ansel or Dorothea, mind, but I am happy when I’m behind the camera or playing with the shots I’ve taken, and that’s enough for me. It is a start towards redreaming my life. Seeing things differently on the physical plane may just create the habit of seeing other things in a new way. I’m open to that idea, and plan to start some redreaming. Only this time, I will practice being a little more specific.