Finally school is out, science camp for teachers is over and I’m wondering how to start the rest of my life. It starts new every day, but I usually am too numb to notice. Recently I’ve been thinking that I have an opportunity to consciously start again, make a few changes that will make for a happier, more contented future. A month or two from now. I even made a list, and titled it, “Things that will make me happy.” I think I meant “calmer, more fulfilled, less frustrated, less numb, less fat.” Here is my list, but not in list form because that takes up too much space.
A clean house, a cool house, a yard that is loved. With flowers. And friends.
Clean fresh food, a clean slate with paperwork, writing morning pages.
A place to sew.
Fitting into size 14, a strong and centered body, a chair on my balcony.
A freshly painted porch, my car all fixed and seeing my mom. Going to the beach with her.
Schoolwork finished, my classroom cleaned and a space to create for next year.
I ask, where will I travel? To San Carlos, to Austin and to Sacramento.
I ask, when will I work and then I unask that one because I don’t want to know.
I ask what will I read? Susan Piver, Sarah Susanka, Denise Linn, Mehmet Oz and some fiction. Possibly something trashy. With gratuitous sex in it.
What will I make? Prayer beads, a patio, a tiny vegetable plot and a place to hang my hammock.
What will I eat? Lots of salads, vegetables and watermelon. And a little some chocolate.
How will I move? By walking, dancing, and doing things at the gym, like yoga and lifting some weights. Maybe I’ll try a Zumba class before I return to school in August. Maybe I’ll swim.
I will take photos of things, and probably sing a little or sometimes a lot. For me singing clears out cobwebs as effectively as crying, only it’s not as messy. So yeah, I’ll probably sing. Here goes…