Just a little miracle?

Some days a miracle would come in handy.  Today was one of those days, sort of.  It started out okay, like any other vacation day.  I did my normal things, took a shower, got dressed, put on a little makeup and went down to the cafe for a morning cuppa.   I sat down with a couple of friends and we were talking about nothin’ much when suddenly a comment flew that spoiled it all for me.  I won’t bore you with the details; it was about the things I say, but it led me to a long day of introspection and second guessing myself.  (Read that beating myself up.)  When I came home I told my daughter about the comment and she said, “Maybe you just can’t hear yourself.”  Well, that did not make it better.  I spent the rest of the day, when I wasn’t taking a nap, thinking about myself.  What a bore of a person I must be.  How I would just not talk any more.  To anyone, because it seems that I have nothing much of value to say.  Just bla, bla, blah.  Even I was bored thinking about it.  Believe me, I dredged up some old stuff.  Old.  Now it’s night time and I think, “Oh well.  I’ve come this far and it’s too late to change my personality.  For anyone.  If I’m not interesting, or I sell myself short sometimes or I don’t always know what I want, so be it.  If today can be a reminder to me to be kind to others, to listen without judging, then it wasn’t such a bad thing.”

And if it lights a fire under me and gets me moving on a few of my intended projects then a miracle will have occurred.  I did put my old Adirondack chair on the balcony.   It didn’t fit through the door, so I put it on top of the hot tub and wrapped a long extension cord around three points of it and hauled it up and over the balcony railing.  That I succeeded at that and didn’t ruin both the chair and the hot tub is a miracle indeed, so there you have it.  A little miracle already.

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5 thoughts on “Just a little miracle?

  1. stuckinmypedals says:

    Lynn,
    I love the picture of you pulleying that chair up onto your balcony. I’m laughing just imagining it! I don’t know what to say about the conversation, but I’m glad it was the catalyst for some good introspection. And by the way, I think you’re a fabulously interesting person.

  2. dkzody says:

    I think introspection is good for all of us. And we are never too old to make changes.

    I’ve been thinking, though, I need to quit giving advice. Actually, I had backed off doing a lot of volunteer activities that called on what I call my creative spirit but have picked up a bit. I’m rethinking that. I definitely see things differently than other people and I like to see immediate results.

  3. lynnjake says:

    Wow, thanks for noticing. I changed themes and it got dropped. It’s back now. I don’t know how I missed that!

  4. dkzody says:

    Thanks, Lynn. I usually click on life designs after coming by here. I’ve picked up some good tips from her.

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