I usually stand in a different place when I photograph the river. I’m closer to the bank, having walked along a path to get to the big open spot. From there I have a wide, clear vista of the river with the sun setting behind it. My car is nowhere close either, unlike in this spot. But today I chose a different spot because I realize that I need to look differently at other things right now too.
This morning I got up and decided that rather than go out to coffee, as is my normal Sunday morning inclination, I’d go to the gym. I have had a gym membership for a while now, and seldom actually go. Honestly, it feels a little like a lost cause. Even if I could manage to lose the weight I need to and crave losing, the firm young body is not on my horizon. (Especially the young part.) So I don’t go because, why bother? Nevertheless, I dragged myself and my book and my quart of water out to the treadmill, to be followed by a weight routine that I have somehow established and managed to remember how to do.
Maybe it’s because I’m reading The Alchemist (for at least the tenth time, and in Spanish) I felt some altruism grow as I tromped along, reading. I was reminded by Coelho that “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” Suddenly I thought, “I just want to be strong. I want to be able to crouch down and take a photograph from a different angle. I want to get out of the car with a spring in my step rather than feeling like collapsing. It isn’t really about having a cute figure, it’s just about being strong, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.”
I finished my half hour on the treadmill and moved to the weight machines. I increased the weight of each one today, and as I strained to fully extend my arms and legs I repeated the mantra, “Strong. I just want to be strong. I can do strong.” And I believe it, I do. I believe that as my physical strength and flexibility grows, so will I grow strong and flexible in other areas of my being. So there it is. Happy Independence day!