Who’s in charge here?

The day before yesterday I had an early morning appointment to fly to Texas for the weekend.  I was all set – bags packed, computer in its case, books chosen, all the important things under control.  I set my alarm the night before and went to bed.  During the night I woke up once and when I saw that it was only 2:30 in the morning, I slipped back into sleep.  The next time I awoke I was surprised to see light beginning to steal across the sky.  With a jolt I grabbed my phone and saw that it was 5:17 A.M.  My plane was scheduled to leave at 5:45.  My alarm had not gone off!  How did this happen?  It’s my iPhone!  I flew out of bed, scrambled around to find some clothes, finished throwing things in my suitcase and screeched off to the airport.  I arrived to find my plane still sitting on the runway.  Feeling relieved, I ran inside and asked if I could get on it.  NO.  Paperwork had been turned in and I was out of luck.  For the next two hours or so, I freaked out.  Calling the airline, returning to the airport, trying to find a ride to San Francisco to catch my second flight there…nothing was working.  For the record, I am not a person who misses flights.  I set alarms correctly, remembering the AM or PM part, and then my inner clock wakes me up ahead of my alarm anyway.  I just don’t do this sort of thing.  But today I had.  My alarm was set for 4:00 PM.  And I had missed my flight.

At 7:30, as I sat in my sleeping daughter’s driveway, defeated, having figured out that I had hesitated so long it was too late to drive to S.F. I realized I would have to come up with another plan.  Colleen from India, the United Airlines rep had told me my only hope was to catch a flight at 10:00 P.M. which would route me through O’Hare in Chicago and get me to Austin at 10:00 the next morning.  Oh, and it would cost about $200 more.  Unacceptable.  On my second trip to the airport that morning when I found the desk closed the agent had told me they would be reopening at 8:30, so I decided to just go home until then.  I finally recognized that this trip was out of my hands.  I could not control when or how or even if I got to Austin.  With my faulty alarm setting I had given up that power.

So I went home and went out to my balcony.  I sat down in my Chair and closed my eyes, and began to meditate in my energy running way.  In my prayer I said, “I give up.  I realize that this is bigger than I.  I believe that it can still happen, but the way is not something I can figure out.  I’m handing it over now.”  I sat there like that for about five minutes or so, and once I felt everything settle down within me I went downstairs feeling perfectly calm and relaxed.  I cooked myself a nice breakfast, took a shower and did my hair and at about 8:30 headed back to the airport, calm and assured that all would work out just as it should.  And I was right.  It couldn’t have been smoother.  I got here on a later, sunset flight, and it was perfect.

It’s good to remember that perfect isn’t always something I have to be in charge of.  Sometimes it pays to just let go.  Give it up and know that things can happen perfectly without much help at all on my part.  All I have to do is be open to it.  What a relief.


2 thoughts on “Who’s in charge here?

  1. dkzody says:

    Good words, Lynn, and just what I need right now. We are in a dilemma about our house and thought we might have found the solution. But when it came time for a decision, I felt so sick to my stomach, I had to back out and leave some people hanging. I felt bad about that part, but I also felt, like you, that I was not in charge here, and needed to let go, and let God do the work. I’m always trying to solve all problems all the time. Just my nature. Glad to know your flight worked out and all went well in Austin.

  2. lynnjake says:

    I know what you mean. I felt such peace once I gave up being the one in charge. It was exactly what I needed to do!

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