The Character of Friday Evening (solsc2015) 20/31

 

Light through glass, so calm, so rich.

Light through glass, so calm, so rich.

As I sit at my computer on Friday afternoon, I’m feeling a little deflated. All week I look forward to Friday, but when it finally arrives I am tired, and I’m out of ideas. Should I go out to dinner? To a movie? Take a nap? I don’t really feel like doing anything at all. I’m drained, on all levels. My body is tired, my mind and emotions are played out.  Even meditation is likely to be just a precursor to sleep. But fi I sleep now, even for twelve minutes, it will be harder to sleep later, I imagine.

This reminds me of Friday nights when I was growing up. My parents were both social people, and they loved to go out on Friday nights for dinner and drinks. When we were little our mom made us fish sticks or creamed tuna on toast before the babysitter arrived. I suppose we just ate it, and then watched a program or two on the big black and white TV before we went to bed, although I don’t remember that.

When I was in Junior High they left us alone. I would cook little frozen pizzas in the toaster oven. and then I’d cook. I had decided already to learn to make things that are usually bought. Things like lollipops. I had to figure out hard crack and the colors and sticks. We didn’t have molds, and it seems like I made them on aluminum foil or waxed paper. So many pieces of these memories have escaped me. What remains is the feeling of having to fill some empty time. The house always felt so empty when they were gone.

Tonight I”m reminded that a little piece of that time holds on, even more than fifty years later. The character of Friday night is loneliness.

11454297503_e27946e4ff_h

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “The Character of Friday Evening (solsc2015) 20/31

  1. Patricia Kaiser says:

    What tender memories. I really enjoyed reading this, Lynn.

    Ad & I have a ritual of sushi on Friday night ~ maybe that would work for you, too? If he’s out of town, I still go! They see me coming and immediately get me a glass of white wine :~} I’m too drained, like you, to do much else (e.g. concert, movie, whatever). Then lazing on the sofa with a DVR’ed show or Netflix. Ahhh….

  2. lynnjake says:

    That sounds lovely, Patty. I think the idea of a ritual is really appealing, no matter what it is. I will think about that and see what might be a good one for me, I think. It’s better to have a ritual of one’s own than live in the backlog of someone else’s ritual!

  3. janiceewing says:

    I agree, it might help to have a plan for a relaxing evening that doesn’t require going out. Maybe favorite foods for dinner and a catch-up phone call with a friend who feels the same way on Friday nights!

  4. aliciamccauley says:

    Today I only had 22 kids. I got to talk with all of them, listen to most of them read and even more gloriously than that, I got to go home at a reasonable hour because everything was done. . Perhaps miraculously I even had enough energy when I got home to take time to care for myself. I read a magazine in a square of sun on the bedspread. Then I cooked dinner. I cooked. On Friday night. Surely the apocalypse is nigh. Today was a tangible reminder that smaller class sizes are better. For everyone. I wish this Friday night was characteristic of the norm.

  5. Jennifer says:

    Lynn, I really enjoyed your post. Usually Fridays feel like I am disappointing someone, possibly me, by not going out and having a single girl experience. I am usually so tired, I only want to be at home. I hope your weekend is great in many ways!

  6. lynnjake says:

    I agree with you. Most Fridays I’m so relieved to be home I just melt into the evening. But sometimes, I just wish for a little more! I hope you have a good weekend too. Tomorrow it’s the Home and Garden show, so there’s that!

  7. dkzody says:

    I read that first paragraph to Terry. “Sounds like you when you were teaching.” Yep, spot on. Often on Friday nights, Terry would ask, “Want to go out to dinner?” and I would reply, “No, I’m too tired to move or to eat.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s